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Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet challenging jobs you can have.  No one is born being a natural mom or dad; these skills are learned.  Here are some tips to help you be the best father you can be for your kids:

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1.    Start Early, Never Stop - Begin your relationship with your son or daughter at birth. It is never too early to talk, tickle, caress, kiss, and play with your child – the sooner, the better. Equally important, don’t stop! Showing affection, asking questions, sharing your world, and getting to know your baby – these are the building blocks to a strong relationship.

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2.    Realize That No One Is a Natural - No one is born a dad or mom. Your responsibility is to make the time and commit the energy to learn the skills you will need to be a caring, compassionate, and competent dad. The learning never ends and kids are great teachers!

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3.    Respect Your Children's Mother - One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you're not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.

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4.    Spend Time with Your Children - How a father spends his time tells his children what's important to him. If you always seem to busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are forever lost.

 

5.    Earn the Right to Be Heard - All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That's why so many children cringe when their mother says, "Your father wants to talk with you." Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.

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6.    Discipline with Love - All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.

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7.    Be a Role Model - Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility. "All the world's a stage..." and a father plays one of the most vital roles.

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8.    Be a Teacher, Teach by Example - If you thought you would never be a teacher, think again! Every dad is a teacher simply by being in the presence of his child. Your words, expressions and actions have a direct impact on your child right from the start.  Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.

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9.    Eat Together as a Family - Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.

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10.    Read to Your Children - In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.

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11.    Have More Awe, Less Frustration - Unrealistic expectations are the source of unnecessary frustration for you and your child. The quicker you can become familiar with what is realistic to expect of your son or daughter as they grow – physically, intellectually, and emotionally – the more you will revel in the joy of the father/child relationship

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12.    Show Affection - Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them.

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13.    Say You're Sorry - Being a dad is an awesome responsibility and you will make mistakes. Remember, you are not alone – every dad (and mom) will do things they later would not consider good parenting. Saying "I'm sorry" will help both you and your child in the long run.

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14.    Realize that a Father's Job Is Never Done - Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.
Sources:  “10 Ways to Be a Better Dad” brochure, National Fatherhood Initiative – www.fatherhood.org;